Category Archives: Humor

I Understand

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I’ve read that with age comes wisdom. Today I’m going to test that notion with myself as the proverbial example. Got your popcorn? Comfy chair? Okay, let’s get to it:

I understand…

1) I understand that nothing in Life is free, that everything we need or desire has a cost associated with it.

2) I understand that although money doesn’t grow on trees, the building materials do.

3) I understand that too little sleep makes you cranky.

4) I understand that lost sleep isn’t recoverable.

5) I understand that Love means never having to say you’re sorry.

6) I understand that Marriage means always having to say you’re sorry. (If you’re a guy) 😉

7) I understand that although we can never know everything, we should never stop trying.

8) I understand that there are those out there who act like they know everything.

9) I understand that to err is being human is important to realize.

10) I understand that being human means making mistakes.

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Fun with Singing

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I don’t know about you, but I love to sing. I mean that there are times when I will spontaneously burst into song. However, when I’m feeling like amusing myself, I will sing a song slightly off-key (on purpose) or…wait for it…

I’ll use someone else’s voice…

Right now, I’ve been using Animal’s voice from The Muppet Show to sing songs like “Put Your Head on My Shoulder” by Paul Anka or The Swedish Chef for “Take on Me” by A-ha. Doesn’t really matter with the last one since it basically comes out as Bork-Bork-Bork anyway.

The point is to do something that makes you laugh because you don’t always have other people around for entertainment and let’s face it, if you do the looks you may get are entertaining in an of themselves.

Yeah, I’m a nut job, but it gets me through the day…hehe.

Random Thoughts for a Rainy Thursday

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It’s a rainy Thursday over here in beautiful Southeastern PA (yes, that’s sarcasm), so I thought today’s article would be something more random in nature.

While I was out running a few errands, I was walking along and the inevitable random thoughts started to pop into my head. I’ve learned to appreciate those moments because many of my best story ideas have come from those wacky neuron crossfires…hehe. So, without further ado, here are a few of the really good ones:

1) Procrastination, the new perfume from Calvin Clone. One whiff and you’ll forget what you want to do. Procrastination: Go ahead, put it off…

2) If Bacon makes everything better and the Cheese stands alone, what the hell are the Crackers doing and should we be worried?

3) When I call a Psychic Hotline, how come they don’t already know my name?

4) Why isn’t the word “No” celebrated in November? I mean, it’s in the name, right?

5) Some of my biggest fans have never read anything I’ve written. This both confuses and irritates me at the same time.

6) When it comes to Chicken, I have to call Fowl…

Like I said, random thoughts. Thanks for your time. 🙂

Scaling Back the Madness

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There comes a time in every endeavor when one must stop and take a hard look at how we’re doing it. Some things will work while others will not and the trick is realizing the difference and adjust accordingly.

I’m all about building infrastructure and organizing for efficiency and success. I’m coming up on my first full year as a self-published author and while I have no plans to quit any time soon, I have recently come to the realization that I have “organized” the fun right out of Writing.

What do I mean?

Instead of doing what I do best, which is write and publish stories, I allowed myself to get caught up in a Sargasso Sea of conflicting advice regarding freelancers, marketers, sad potatoes wearing brightly colored garnish, and things that do little for me and everything for those selling services or a handy-dandy global secret to amazing wealth for only $5.99…

Yeah, they saw me coming, despite my best efforts to stay true to what works for me. Thankfully, this fool and his money have not been soon parted though my bank has made a pretty tidy sum in monthly account maintenance fees due to my excessive optimism in creating separate checking and savings accounts dedicated to Writing Expenses. Don’t get me wrong, separating the money you earmark toward office supplies and whatnot is important, but when all you need are good records of those expenditures, you don’t need to go full bore at first.

I’m not saying that what I have written up to now should be thrown out. In fact, I am saying the opposite in that you should listen to your inner voice. When it says “Dude, this isn’t working”, you should pay attention and then act to make the appropriate corrections. Plus, I got really tired of managing four different bank accounts when two personal ones did the job more effectively. When the income picks up, I will probably revisit the concept.

Writing almost became un-fun for me, which is a terrible thing because it’s the one thing that I have never given up on and will hold onto until my last breath. I’m not a freelancer, marketer, entrepreneur, or a business person.

I am a Writer and I intend to do just that. And only that. Thanks for your time. 🙂

I May Not Be Doing this Right

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You’re probably reading the title of this article and thinking “What does he mean by ‘Doing this Right’?”

I follow a large number of blogs and I love the many ways people have taken the Blogging Concept and made it their own. However, one thing makes me stop and wonder:

Are we writing Articles or merely Posts as with Social Media like Facebook?

Speaking for myself, I treat each installment as if I were back writing articles for my college newspaper, only opinion-based as if I were writing a column. That’s part of my writing background and though I specialize in writing Fiction, I enjoy putting together articles for entertainment and information. I suppose that’s the Ole Aspiring Journalist making itself known.

Is there a right way or wrong way to do this? I pose this question not to drastically alter how I write these things, but to understand how things work according to those who have done this a lot longer than I. I really want your input and offer profuse thank yous in advance. 🙂