Well, they might inspire but at least they may make you laugh:
1. Vomiting is your stomach’s way of saying that the meal isn’t right and it’s going back to the Kitchen.
2. Three turns is a Life Decision. Four is just a circle.
3. Egg on plate is good; Egg on Face not so much.
4. If everything good was Right, there would be no need for a Left.
5. A good Conspiracy Theory requires at least two people. One person just means a lot of muttering.
6. Science Fiction becomes Science Fact when one person says they can build it and another person says that they will pay for it.
7. Shouldn’t a Microwave Oven be smaller?
8. Putting Pen to Paper shouldn’t involve thumbs.
9. How come an actual F-Bomb doesn’t exist? After all, we have A and H-Bombs out the Yin-Yang…
10. Being “Nice” is not synonymous to being a doormat. Home Depot, get on this…
11. Idle hands are the Devil’s Work. So are idle minds…
12. Chicken tastes like everything else.
13. By and Large, Humor is subjective. Bad Jokes are subjected upon…
14. Ellipses are your friend…
15. Procrastination is the difference between Now and Never.
16. You will never see a Submarine Sandwich underwater.
17. Sequels are afterthoughts.
18. Plots are like cake batter. They have to thicken before they are any good.
19. Tattoos are for colorful people. Maybe…
20. The Last of anything is usually the First of something.
I never said I was great at inspiring people. In the End, there is just do or do not, with apologies to Yoda. 😉